End of CG Barbie

“It’s not whether you get knocked down. It’s whether you get back up” –Vince Lombardi

Safe to say I’ve been knocked down. I’m 20 years old and I have every reason to stand back up, brush the dust off and start climbing again. It doesn’t make it easier though. It’s common sense, when you fall you’re likely to get hurt. And the harder you fall, the bigger the bruises. So right now I’m brushing myself off and checking my wounds, and I’m getting up. But where do I go from here? For the past two+ years I’ve only known one life, one path. At the end their were a thousand possibilities. But I just got detoured from that road and it’s like going from fresh pavement to wandering through the woods. I’m lost.

So here’s the deal. Coast Guard Barbie just lost the CG. And as confused as I may be right now, I’m optimistic. I can’t and won’t let this get me down! I fell and I’m getting back up now. I may take a minute to lick my wounds but I won’t take too long. And while I take this minute to figure out where I go from here, I will not stop. I will keep going.

I’m still Barbie. Just not CG Barbie. I’m going back to my roots. New Hampshire. So it’s NHBarbie now. And if there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s fight and overcome and that is what I am doing. I am fighting and I will overcome!

Death

I’m probably the worst person when it comes to dealing with death.

B moved back to H-town which under normal circumstances I would be estatic about but he only came back because his mom’s cancer came back. I talked to him a little but, I never know what to say. I’ve talked to him a few times since he’s been home, but I haven’t seen him yet. Well the other day I was reading the local paper online and his mom’s obituaray was front page for my town. =[

I can’t imagine how hard this is on him and his family. All I want to do is be there for him, but I know that I’d be stepping on people toes and I don’t want to intrude him or his family right now. I wouldn’t want that. At the same time I really hope B knows how much I care. I sent him a message, but like that doesn’t help. Nothing will help right now. I just feel so horrible about it all, and helpless. =[

I think I am in love

With Jax from Sons of Anarchy…

OMG is he hot =]

It’s been a while

It’s been a while since I’ve written here, but soo much shit has been going on in my life, it’s like I don’t even want to. Ahhh. Well there will be some major changes in my life in the near future, doing a lot of thinking about the future….. Scary stuff. Lol. Wellll I am off to bed to get some rest so I can go hunt Bambi’s dad at the farm tomorrow!! =] Night all

Crumble Tumble House of Cards

I’m gonna burn it all down

Unmotivated

Grrr… i am completely unmotivated to hit the gym right now.

Days 6 & 7

Yay one week! The weekend was hard but everyone back home was supportive. I am sick of everyone asking why i’m doing it and making fun of me but hey i’m happy so fuck what they think about it.

Days 4 & 5

Still going strong!! Challenging? Yes, but I’m quite happy with my new lifestyle. It’s Amazing! =]

Day 3

Three days! May not seem like much but its going pretty well! I think the weekend will be easier since i’ll be food shopping and cooking for myself. Tomorrow I post why i’m even doing this in the first place. It’s pretty interesting stuff!

Day 2

Today was good! I figured it would of been harder but even eating at the station wasn’t hard. A little frustrating but day 2 went off without a hitch! Just went for a run and feel amazing!